22 Comments
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chad ray's avatar

Why don’t we skinny dip?

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Mel Lloyd's avatar

Oh goodness how much fun for my weird sauna in the buff anecdote found its way to a new little piece….i may have to write out the whole story 🙃

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Michelle Ray's avatar

Thanks for sharing it! I love the story and the moral of the story!

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Patty Bee's avatar

I love this. These are the reasons why we must write!

The skinny dipping story reminds me of Nora Ephron: “Oh, how I regret not having worn a bikini for the entire year I was 26. If anyone young is reading this, go, right this minute, put on a bikini, and don't take it off until you're 34!”

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Michelle Ray's avatar

Haha! I know. I was so confused as to why someone wouldn’t be happy to see me naked! Oh, youth.

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Bougie Hippie's avatar

It’s so worth it.

Like you said, when you’re being honest, people lean in …

The reward I get for writing my memoir is when people say they relate, that it helped them lessen the scars of their own painful truths.

Here’s the first chapter to my unraveling…

https://open.substack.com/pub/cynishere/p/left-my-xanax-in-la-la-land?r=3vddjw&utm_medium=ios

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Kelly Fowler's avatar

Hell I’m in my 50’s and would still skinny dip or go topless with you. Will fight that shame and fear til the day I day. I mean under the right circumstances cuz I sure don’t have my 20-something physique anymore. Ha! Love this post, your writing and you! Do it!!!

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Michelle Ray's avatar

I know you would and love you for it! Thanks for being such an amazing friend and supporter of my writing!

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Mollie Fox's avatar

Congrats to you for going for it!!

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Michelle Ray's avatar

Thanks, your comment about how they can look away if they don’t like it was the best!🤣

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Mollie Fox's avatar

🖤🖤🖤

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Lady Libertea's avatar

This is a great read and I think all vital. Yes as writers--artists we seek to compel truth and emotion. We are creating a lens through which our audiences are able to see through our eyes, perceiving the world as we do, if even only for a moment. Yet we create those moments, we decide what gets seen. There is a way to reveal honesty and truth without showing the world everything. Some things are only meant to be shared with one who knows your soul best-yourself.

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Michelle Ray's avatar

Thank you, what a lovely comment. I agree that there is a balance and, as writers, we must be thoughtful of what is out there in the world. But there are often solid reasons for oversharing. I read a memoir (What I Was Doing While You Were Breeding, Kristen Newman) where the author shared very explicit sexual encounters, then posted the question to the reader, Would I want my future daughter reading this someday? Ultimately, she said, yes, she would not want her daughter to view her experiences as shameful. Loved this.

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Lady Libertea's avatar

I can see that, wanting the daughter to know and appreciate her own body intimately, not finding shame but empowerment in the curves of her flesh.

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Darcy's avatar

“Shame hates it when we reach out and tell our story. It hates having words wrapped around it—it can’t survive being shared. Shame loves secrecy.”—Brené Brown.

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Michelle Ray's avatar

Thanks for this…she is the shame guru!

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Outtamydamnmind's avatar

Lmfao 🤣 I love how skinny dipping lead to raw revelations, the irony? lol thank you for sharing it all in a corky yet very YOU way! I adore you and I think we all can benefit from being naked sometimes or maybe just wearing the speedo. Either way never let shame keep you from living and tell the stories!

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Michelle Ray's avatar

Thank you! Shame and fear are powerful so I try to face them when I can. Sometimes it takes awhile!😳

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Outtamydamnmind's avatar

Doesn’t matter how long it takes just that you finny face them! I love it !🫶🏼

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Jul 1
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Michelle Ray's avatar

You're welcome. Your comments in the thread touched me, and I knew others would be interested as well. This is the beauty of Substack and the writing community, in general. We must continue to lift one another up and bypass the gatekeepers (by that, I mean trad publishing).

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Jul 1Edited
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Michelle Ray's avatar

Thanks, writing about shame doesn’t have to be a trauma downer, right? I saw your message and thank you, I will post it on Wednesday and stay present in your lovely chat space.

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