Solid
What holds shape, and what dissolves
Introduction to the Series: States of Matter
The first piece, Solid, is about the illusion of permanence: who we think we are, what we believe can’t change, and what happens when it does anyway. It’s written as a lab report, borrowing scientific form and language to track what dissolves as a Midwestern teacher lands in Ecuador
This series explores each state (solid, liquid, gas, plasma) through my own transformations. It’s meant to:
Introduce you to the concepts behind this newsletter’s name
Reveal more about who I am as a person and writer
You can read the second essay in the series here, Liquid: fear adapts, so did I
LABORATORY REPORT: CULTURAL ADAPTATION EXPERIMENT
Experiment Title: Effects of Environmental Displacement on Identity Stability
Researcher: Michelle Ray
Date: August 2000 - December 2000
Lab Location: Quito, Ecuador (2,850 meters above sea level)
ABSTRACT
This experiment examines what happens when a 29-year-old subject is removed from her native environment and placed in conditions beyond her functional parameters.
HYPOTHESIS
If a Kansas-raised, corn-fed teacher with firm beliefs and opinions but a brand-new passport is transplanted to Ecuador, then she will successfully adapt by applying her existing competencies to a new context.
ALTERNATE HYPOTHESIS
The subject will experience a critical malfunction and/or breakdown before the conclusion of the experiment.
MATERIALS
One (1) American teacher, Kansas-certified
Deeply ingrained supply of Midwestern politeness
Twenty-nine (29) years of accumulated certainty
Argument reflex: engaged
Suppressed fear shielded by extreme bravado
Low tolerance for ambiguity
High tolerance of jubilant atmospheres, including dance and intoxicants
PROCEDURE
Remove the subject from a familiar environment.
Exposure to:
Schools that require teachers to wear uniforms
Bus systems with attendants announcing destinations as an impetus to travel
Meetings that start “más o menos” at the stated time
Language learning by immersion and constant misgendering of objects in Spanish
Observe dissolution of certainty over a six-month period.
OBSERVATIONS
Week 1: In the first week of class, students call the subject “Miss” and the subject believes they cannot remember her name.
Month 1: Subject relies on technology in class lessons with no backup plan. Subject begins showing stress fractures. Students convince Miss to take them outside and read.
Month 3: Subject is observed out of the initial routine with a decrease in the frequency of checking time. Visible signs of discomfort in uniform: repeated touching of the belt and buttons on the vest. Continue to monitor, but predict a decrease.
Month 6: Subject observed ordering beer in Spanish without English translation in her head first. Stops correcting people who mispronounce her name. Wears uniform without adjusting buttons. “disculpe” (excuse me) becomes automatic in Spanish.
DATA
Figure 1: Certainty of Own Cultural Values Over Time
100% |████████████|
|████████████|
80% |████████████|
|████████████|
60% |████████████|
|███████ |
40% |███████ |
|███ |
20% |███ |
|█ |
0% |____________|
Day 1 Month 3 Month 6
Y-axis: Certainty that American values are universal/correct
X-axis: Time in Ecuador
Note: Politeness reflex (not pictured) remained constant at 100% throughout the experiment.
RESULTS
The subject did not adapt by applying existing competencies to a new context. Instead, existing competencies dissolved under pressure. Figure 1 shows a steady decline in certainty about one's own cultural values, with the steepest drop occurring between Week 2 and Month 2—the period when the subject realized planning does not prevent chaos.
What emerged was not an improved version of the original but a fundamentally different structure.
DISCUSSION
Identity operates less like a solid structure and more like a temporary arrangement held together by environmental pressure. Remove the pressure (Kansas expectations, American systems) and the arrangement changes.
The subject’s assumption that she could remain herself while changing location was fundamentally flawed. Geography is not neutral.
CONCLUSION
Original hypothesis rejected. Subject transformed enough to render “success” unmeasurable by original standards.
APPLICATIONS
This experimental model may prove useful for:
Anyone preparing to relocate internationally
Those clinging to certainty as a survival strategy
Individuals are convinced their competence is portable
People who believe planning prevents disaster
Thank you for reading! I would love to hear what state you are in. What identities and values are solid? Which have dissolved…how and why?
Awesome piece! Love the study format. Very creative and effective, because when we live in another land we are in an experiment that dramatically affects how we think about who we are and where we're from. When is your book coming out?
Quick question: A few months ago, there was a nav bar on Substack's home page that had different categories of topics. Travel was one of them. Now it doesn't seem to exist anymore. Is there still a travel section?
Turned out well!